


Clarity

by yersifanel



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Caitian Khan, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-05 03:09:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1088902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yersifanel/pseuds/yersifanel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim was vaguely aware of what the meeting was about. He was supposed to be paying attention but he was too busy staring at the male Caitian beauty cladded in the grey Starfleet uniform that did him no justice</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clarity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BotanyCameos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BotanyCameos/gifts).



> For my dear friend BotanyCameos! Happy Holidays :)

(I.)

His eyes were bright blue with a hint of green, an outline of black in the iris and round diamond like pupils that dilated to full circle of thinned to an edge depending of what he was focusing on. The blue degraded spots over his forehead, brown and check bones matched perfectly with the dark outline around his eyes, thin eyebrows and velvety looking pointy ears. The black fringe that fell over his face every once in a while didn't appear to bother him and made no conscious effort to brush it off. He just blinked lazily and continued operating the simulation model being shown to the attendants of the meeting.

Jim was vaguely aware of what the meeting was about. He was supposed to be paying attention but he was too busy staring at the male Caitian beauty cladded in the grey Starfleet uniform that did him no justice. Said male was helping Admiral Marcus through the meeting, Jim thought he was a Caitian, but being honest, he was not really sure. As far as he knew male Caitians had more fur on the face and rougher features. Maybe he was a half Caitian, yes, that had to be the reasons he was less furry and still breathtakingly beautiful.

The Caitian did an unconscious movement and his large tail swirled when he kneeled on the floor to press a button on the base of the console and moved over his face to brush the fringe off his eyes, making Jim almost chock by how unintentionally hot he looked.

Jim couched loudly, making some of the attendants look at him oddly. Pike was at his side, patting him on the back while Spock was blinking, unsure of why Jim was behaving as he was. Behind him, Bones was making a face that promised Jim a talk he was probably not going to like after the meeting and Scotty was not bothering with their shenanigans but actually paying attention to the presentation. He couldn't see Uhura, Chekov or Sulu from his seat, but he was pretty sure he was being glare at by Uhura, he could picture Sulu's smirk and Chekov taking notes because of course the kid was paying attention like Scotty was doing.

Good to know he had a fantastic crew; the universe knows he needs them.

"Captain, are you well?" Spock asked in a low tone and Jim flushed because what was he supposed to say? No Spock, I have a bad case of hornyness for Admiral Marcus' cat-alien assistant.

"Yes, all right here, thanks," he said instead and gave an unconvincing smile that made Pike role his eyes.

Admiral Marcus continued with his presentation and Jim caught his assistant's name when the old man talked too close to the microphone while giving instructions to say assistant.

Khan.

That gave him a start. He quickly took his PADD and pretended to take notes; he got into Starfleet's database instead and started looking for the name. He needed to know more about that man, feline, whatever.

Jim smiled when the information was displayed with a frankly divine picture of the man in question. His expression was perhaps a little too serious but apart from that it was perfect.  
Commander Shere Khan.

Was he seriously named after the tiger from the Jungle Book? He was definitely a half human, half feline then, because that book was not universally known. At least one of his parents had to be human to know about it. Now Jim was going to picture him with a smirk and sexy voice in his head all the time, moving like a tiger ready to pounce.

Maybe he should think of something else. It was neither the right place nor the time to have a fantasy over a sexy blue eyed cat-alien, not matter how much he wanted to.

Jim took a deep breath and closed his eyes, thinking about unsexy things and slowly concentrating in Admiral Marcus' voice and the topic of the presentation. When he opened his eyes, he was staring into cat-like blue irises from over the podium. He stopped breathing, feeling as if those eyes were staring into his soul.

Khan blinked slowly and looked away, his expression blank as a Vulcan's.

Jim remembered to breathe again and saved the information displayed in his PADD. He had no idea what he planned to do and was almost certain that whatever he end up doing would probably be something stupid, but he was going to do something.

Because there was no way he was not going to see Khan again.

(II.)

Jim licked his lips, not bothering to suppress the grin on his face as he shamelessly stared at the male blue eyed Caitian. They were in a party; there were a lot of people around talking and minding their own business. Jim could stare, or so he told himself.

"Damn it Jim!" Bone's angry hiss brought him back to reality. His CMO had that angry frown on his face so characteristic of him that matched with the powerful glare that, if able to, would burn holes in his skull.

"What? I'm not doing anything!"

Bones narrowed his eyes, "You are being way too obvious, stop staring at Marcus' assistant!"

Jim pouted and it was definitely a pout, "Oh come on! Don't be like that, just look at him! He's worth seeing."

"He also happens to be a Commander in Starfleet's Science Division, you really need to pick your battles Jim," Bones hissed. "No to mention that he really looks like he doesn't want to be here, Spock is showing more emotion and that's saying something."

Jim frowned, turning his head to see the man in question. Khan was holding a glass with a colorful liquid he had not consumed and staring blankly ahead while a pretty blonde girl by his side talked with the group they were with. The blonde took Khan by the arm and gently guided him aside to talk with other group of people while the Caitian silently complied.

"That's weird," Jim mumbled, suddenly more concerned than anything else, "I wonder what's going on with him."

Bones pushed him lightly, "That is probably not your problem, leave it be."

"But…" He trailed off, wincing slightly and looking at Khan's direction with a conflicted expression.

Suddenly, it was not just because Khan had caught his eye anymore. Curiosity was bubbling inside him, growing stronger by the second as the questions started to form in his mind, pilling one after another and remain answerless.

Jim understood Bone's point, he really did. Still, there was a reason why Jim was the doctor's ever living headache. The fact that Jim understood Bone's point didn't mean he was actually going to listen.

Nope, at least not today.

The young captain gave his CMO a wicked grin and before Bones could yell at him Jim was crossing the room towards the group of officers the pretty blonde was talking with while Khan continued to stare ahead, uninterested in the occurrences around him.

He didn't plan on trip and push the blonde, nor that she knocked Khan's drink off his hand, making him slip it all over himself. It really wasn't his plan, but he was not going to deny the fact that it did wonders to improve his previously non-existing strategy.

"Oh, Khan, are you okay?" The blonde woman looked a bit mortified.

"I am well Carol, there is no need to worry," Khan's fingers twitched slightly and he slowly looked at Jim, who was already handing him a napkin, "Thank you."

"No problem, it was actually my fault, I'm so sorry," Jim smiled, although his gesture was received with a confused frown from the feline, who tilted his head to a side. Jim stood there for an awkward long second and finally invaded Khan's personal space with the excuse of helping him clean up. Khan allowed it, but looked as he found infinitely strange the fact that Jim was even trying.

From there, Jim meddled himself into the conversation with his usual dazzling grace. The little stunt did wonders for his lack of information. He got to meet Carol Marcus and even managed to get Khan to talk a bit, enough to give Jim something to get started.

It took several tricky questions, flirt a little bit with Carol and other tricks under his sleeve, but Jim eventually got Khan's number.

When he went back, happily showing off the digits in his comm, Bones slapped him upside the head and called him a moron.

It was totally worth it.

(III.)

Khan cringed. Eyes firmly shut and hands over his ears, pressing with so much force he most likely would hurt himself and regret it later. For the moment the only thing he wanted was for that aberrant sound to stop. He felt like bashing his head against the wall but he doubted it would do any good. Slowly, he fell onto his knees, his sharp claw like nails digging painfully into his soft ears and his tail twisted around his own leg.

Marcus stood over him, looking entirely too pleased. In his hand he carried a small device. It was almost humorous that such an insignificant looking gadget was the source of Khan's discomfort, but the Augment couldn't bring himself to laugh, it hurt too much.

"Bad cat," Marcus used his foot to push him to his side. Khan moved fast and was on all fours, hissing loudly at his offender, "Behave."

The aberrant sound was back and Khan felt his ears bleed as it pierced his head like a drill. Khan clawed at his own ears and was stopped by Marcus, who turned the gadget off and softly petted the damaged ears, making Khan quiver and curl the appendages flat against his skull. Marcus pulled his tail for it, forcing Khan to untwist it and laid it still on Marcus' hand.

The unwanted touches were going to start any time soon. Khan felt anger boiling inside him; he wanted to claw Marcus' eyes out and yet he had to lay there and take whatever sick game the corrupted Admiral wanted to play.

There was a hand over his crotch when his comm beeped loudly. Khan's eyes snapped open and he thought fast, looking over the device and then at Marcus, who was displeased with the interruption.

Marcus tossed him the comm, making Khan to move fast to catch it. The feline quickly answer the call, unsure of what to do as Marcus walked away. Khan forced himself to not sigh in relieve.

"Shere Khan," he said softly, hating how his childhood nickname was being used to sustain the lie Marcus had created around him.

"Hey, this is James Kirk, remember me?" the voice did sound familiar, "I pestered you to let me make it up to you for the accident at the party?"

Khan blinked once, twice and then the image of a handsome looking Captain came to his mind. He did remember the blonde; Khan liked the shade of blue in his eyes.

"Yes... I remember."

The silence that followed was tense and more than a little bit awkward for Jim while Khan was busy trying to work out what was he supposed to say now.

"Ehm... are you free tonight?"

He almost said no, but the idea of staying in the same building as Marcus, knowing his intentions for the night, where enough to overwrite the automatic response.

"I am," He declared quickly. "What do you propose?"

"Well, I'm picking you up and we can decide where to go, yeah?"

"That sounds acceptable."

"Awesome."

Jim was saying something about dinner followed by a string of words related to the aspects the night with Jim would cover. Khan wasn't listening, he was too busy taking his coat and walking really fast to get out of the room.

He had no idea what James T. Kirk wanted, but it had to be better than dealing with Marcus.

(IV.)

Khan's sisters had always insisted that he was too oblivious on certain things, mostly sentimentally related things. They used to say some 'obvious' events just fly pass him, and they found it kind of cute even. For this very same reason Khan was not completely surprised when, an hour after having been picked up by Jim, he noticed he was, in fact, on a date with said Captain.

He could almost hear his sisters giggling.

Jim was talking about his ship and a couple of events that had taken place in his most recent mission and some details of the defense simulator Khan had been demonstrating at the conference and how useful it looked, while Khan tried to make himself more comfortable around him.

"What I don't get," said Jim after stealing a chip from Khan's plate, "Is the sudden rush to have this system in the ships, I mean, it's even tested?"

"Yes," Khan decided to get even with Jim by taking some bits of food from the Captain's plate to himself, "We're already working in a functional model within a new ship I just recently finished the design of."

"A ship?" Khan didn't know Jim could smile could get any wider, "You designed a ship?"

Khan nodded, feeling the corners of his mouth lift by the sudden wave of interesting in something done by him from Jim. He couldn't exactly explain why he felt good by having Jim's attention.

"It's already under construction, but it doesn't have a name yet, although Admiral Marcus is inclined to call it Vengeance."

"Well, that sounds intimidating," Jim rolled his eyes, "Or really pretentious."

"Pretentious is more accurate."

The shared a silent moment before Jim started laughing, Khan felt himself smiling more honestly after hearing such sound and concluded that he liked Jim's laugh.

It was sometime between the conversation and a little debate over what to get for dessert than Khan found himself hoping the evening would last longer.

(VI.)

It started with a simply touch, an accidental brushing of Jim's fingers over Khan's tail when they were walking and said appendage lazily wrapping itself around Jim's wrist. He wasn't exactly sure how it escalated from there but he wasn't complaining.

Jim was mapping Khan's body with his mouth; hot open mouth kissed tracing every inch of pale, soft skin while the man under him trembled with a soft, unmistakable purr of delight. Jim moved from Khan's chest to his throat, sucking and kissing the skin to leave a mark of him being able to spend the night with the gorgeous creature under him.

Khan's cheeks were flushed, his ears flat against his skull and he couldn't stop purring as Jim did wonders with his mouth. When Jim's fingers brushed against the sensitive skin of his entrance he dug his nails into Jim's shoulders and felt him smile against his cheek.

"You ok?"

Jim's voice was husked, nearly panting as he moved his body against Khan's in their own, personal erotic ritual, he moved up and gently nibbled Khan's ear.

"Y-Yes…"

Khan let himself drown in the feeling, his tail wrapping around Jim's leg like the times he used to share the bed with someone dear to him. He found himself blinking back moisture of his eyes at that memory until James' skillful touches quickly brought him back to the present.

Khan was thigh and Jim took his time in getting him ready and even more so in slowly and with no rush thrust into him. He felt Khan's tail constrict around his leg and found himself smiling again, gently brushing his lips against the velvety ears.

"Hey, hey..." Jim whispered into his ear, "Stay with me."

Khan nodded, because in more than once sense, he wanted to stay with Jim.

(VII.)

"What kind of cat are you?"

"Excuse me?" Khan's right ear twitched and Jim resisted the urge to call it adorable.

"Most Caitians resemble a feline that exists on Earth," Jim explained. "I want to know the one you resemble, I've been trying to figure it out or a while now... not a lion, you are not that furry—"

"Don't make me hiss at you—"

Jim ignored him and started playing with the man's tail, "A Lynx maybe? But your ears are not that pointy."

"James…"

"A tiger? The name fits!"

Khan sighed and gently flicked Jim on the nose with his tail, "I have spots on my face, not stripes."

"Oh, right…"

Khan lay on his back while Jim was still playing with his tail and rolled his eyes, "Jaguar."

"Hum?"

"I resemble a dark jaguar, hence my color and spots."

Jim climbed over Khan, tracing the spots over his brows and forehead gently, mapping them in his mind and memorizing the shape and color of them and how they gradually faded and matched with his eye color perfectly.

"You look awesome."

Khan couldn't help but smile.

(VIII.)

Khan went back to London and Jim kept his number. He called him again and again and Khan answered back every time. Their conversation varied in nature, sometimes they were light and simply, other times it morphed into sometime erotic that between the words being spoken, the intention and Khan's deep tone of voice drove Jim to the edge in the most delicious way possible.

It was after three months of calls and visits that Jim realized his night conquest had morphed into a proper relationship and strangely enough, he wanted that, but thought it was coming too easily.

Later on, he was going to curse himself repeatedly for that thought, because surely that had been the thing that jinxed it. Otherwise why on earth did a secret file with footage of his kind of boyfriend being subject to illegal experimentation was anonymously sent to him?

That was how Spock found him, staring into his PADD with a pained expression on his face and rage pooling inside him.

"Captain?"

Jim took a deep breath, "Remember the guy I have been seeing?"

"I do."

Spock had just raised that impressive eyebrow of his when the notice that Jim was dating a Commander of the London division spread out around the ship and in a private meeting suggested for him to be considered in his actions, words Bones translated into: don't fuck this up Jim, this is not a random one night stand.

They were right, Khan was so much more than that and clearly he had been hidden secrets from him. Jim couldn't even bee mad about that fact, he was too busy wanting to run and have his lover safe at his side.

The information kept on coming and Jim had to take deep breaths and remain patient. It was a hard task to do when the content of the files and videos was so raw, even more so for him because Jim was emotionally compromised.

Spock was the one that made head and tails of the information, quickly setting the files in order and analyzing the information to draw conclusions. He requested McCoy's help in the medical area and Scotty's expertise in details including engineering, all this while Jim remained calm and focused, mentally preparing a report to Admiral Pike.

His lover's name was indeed Khan, but his identity had been shattered a long time ago, when he was put into a cryogenic sleep that lasted for three hundred years, until Marcus and his team revived him.

It turned out Khan was an Augment Human and his feline features were the result of multiple experiments. His speed, feline reflexes, killer instinct; all that features of a large hunting cat reflected physically in his appearance; He was technically a genetically modified half human, half caitian, created when the alien species was not even know on Earth.

Back in his actual day and age, Khan had stand out too much over his peers, his appearance being one of the unexpected results of said experimentation. Today, his features were nothing the Federation had not seen before. This made Marcus' cover story easier, because he was just an Admiral requesting the service of a foreign planet's Science Officer for his defense project, not using one of the last Augmented Humans in existence, Captain of his frozen crew, to create weapons.

Jim's nails were digging into his palm when Bones took his wrist to make him let go. He barely noticed the blood spots on the floor or Bones' worried expression. His mind too preoccupied in forming a plan to get his lover back, hoping this information was not going to lead them directly into a trap.

Another video arrived and Jim wasted no time in calling Admiral Pike to request his help, telling himself that he could stand to hear Khan scream in the video because soon he was going to save him.

If he flinched when reproducing the video, his crew was kind enough to over look it.

(IX.)

When Khan was a child he couldn't understand why his brothers and sisters were like him and at the same time were not. They didn't have cat ears of tails; they didn't have claws and extra sharp molars. His sisters were fasters than his brothers, fast like him, but they didn't have spots on their faces or feline eyes. His brothers were strong like him, but they didn't feel the need to hiss and roar when attacking.

He was the firsts, their creators explained, and because he was the first, some unexpected things had happen in the process. He was better, but he was also different.

His siblings didn't care.

They were a family, a team, and together they did wonders but also caused horrors, not all of his siblings were like him after all. Some wanted power more than anything else, which was what doomed them in the end. When the war was too much for them and Khan was not a child anymore, he decided to take what was left of his family and accept their exile, deep in space, dreaming of a time when they would have a chance of simply be among others, in peace.

That world existed, but he was found by a man that only wanted power, so Khan was unable to properly enjoy the world he had been woke up into because he was too busy cursing the man who allowed him to open his eyes after his long sleep, wanting to drag him into another war.

Khan was tired of wars.

When he met Jim he didn't plan on getting emotionally compromised with him. The fact that it happened just made the statement said by one of his sisters all the more true: emotions are unpredictable, they are powerful and even us, that were created to be better, are subject to them. This is not a bad thing, emotions makes us stronger.

Khan allowed himself to care for Jim, because he missed being cared for in return. It felt good that Jim wanted him.

Now, the world was a mixture of pain and fear, because he was trapped and Marcus was going to take away from him everything he cared about; his family, his hope, his Jim.

It wasn't fair really. Khan hated wars. It was truly unfair he was constantly being dragged into one.

(X.)

There were shouts and even screams, but they seem to come from far, far away. Khan's right ear twitched, his left too damaged to be move without causing pain. He was curled up in a corner of the cell he had been confined to. He couldn't tell how long it had been, for day blurred together in his perception by the constant pain and drugs forced into his system.

He just wanted to save his family. He wanted to prevent a war, but of course he was caught and punished for it.

Now the pain was there, but he was alone and the shouts were accompanied by hurried steps getting closer to his cell. Khan vaguely wondered if they were going to blame him for whatever disaster was happening outside and punish him for it as well. It was not like Marcus required an excuse other than being mad at him to hurt him these days.

He really, really hated that man.

The door was opening, he heard the sound before he saw anything, but he could only move and hiss in response. He wasn't expecting a kind hand to touch his face with such care it was plain and obvious this was not Marcus.

For a moment, when his vision focused, he wondered if he had lost his mind, because he was staring into the blue of Jim's eyes.

"Hey..." Jim was kneeling before him, holding his face with both hands, "Sorry, I am late."

Khan blinked once, twice and then sighed, letting himself fall against Jim's chest to feel his warm embrace.

It was enough.

(XI.)

Carol switched off the system, her last transmission successfully sending the information regarding her father's more than illegal movements against the Klingons and other planets to the high officers that would help Jim to stop him.

She felt sad that it had come to this, but Carol understood that some sacrifices had to be made to allow peace a chance, in this case it was the integrity of her father's name and what was left of her family.

She couldn't believe her eyes when he found the footage of Khan's awakening, nor what followed. It took her a few days to finally allow herself to anonymously send the information to Jim, but she did it. Carol knew the Captain of the Enterprise would help, she was sure.

Now, it was not over, she was sure this was nothing more than another beginning. It was a shame it had come with the price of her family's was vestiges of stability, but she thought it was worth it.

Hearing the internal news of the rescue and seeing the picture of Jim helping Khan to get away from the lab he had been trapped in made Carol feel glad about her decision.

She was hurting, but she also feel hope, because heart was in the right place.

(XII.)

Khan followed the light with his eyes as Doctor McCoy performed another check up on him. The man was a professional and Khan had to admit it feel good to be around a doctor that didn't want to cut him open.

"I think you will be ready for missions in a couple of weeks, although I don't recommend it very much, although I think I know why you're seeking your clearance."

Khan's right ear twitched.

"I have a new assignment; that is all," Khan said slowly, "My crew is still in recovery from a prolonged cryogenic sleep, I am past that stage."

"And they will be fine," Bones assured him, "Also, I'm sure that assignment says, U.S.S. Enterprise, Science Officer," Bones made a motion with his hands to make it look overdramatic, Khan narrowed his eyes and his ear twitched again, "Give Spock a lot of war for me, will ya?"

Before Khan could answer, Jim entered the room looking for him and Khan felt his mood improve a lot.

It felt good to be home.


End file.
